It seems like such a simple word but in reality has so much power that people often forget to understand the depth of it. Forgiveness is considered to be the key ingredient to a happy and prosperous life.
In contrast to popular belief, forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with the other person, situation or circumstances. Forgiveness is an internal mode of self-transformation.
Forgiveness is defined as an act to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offence, flaw or mistake. But in actuality, it is so much more than that.
Human beings over their life course are evidently expected to have disagreements, feuds, and arguments with other people. It is simply because man is a social being. Each person is brought up with regard to their own set of beliefs, which can be either a results of their culture, parenting, or own experiences. Due to this, no two people even if brought up in a similar environment can be similar to each other. Each individual is simply unique in his or her own manner. Thus, when two individuals are engaged in any conversation or discussion there will obviously be disagreements.
On a similar note, what is fair and right to one person may simply be contrary to another person. Of course when it occurs, people usually are left with feelings of anger or resentment because they are unable to have it their way.
When people are unable to get over these emotions or feelings they experience discomfort. In such scenarios, people willingly put themselves into a prison or a cage, which prevents them from moving ahead or forward. The act of forgiveness is helping ones own self to move out of that prison so that he or she is no longer a prisoner of the past.
On a black and white scale, individuals, habitually rate all the people in two paradigms – love and hate. It is either you love a person because your set of beliefs and values match with the other person or you hate a person due to the contrast of beliefs and values. But if you look at it in a logical spectrum, love and hate are not the appropriate paradigms. On a grey scale, there are so many other paradigms than just love and hate.
When you expect a desired response from a person you willingly give your power onto the other person to make yourself feel better. For example, if a person has betrayed your trust you will not be in peace until he or she apologizes to you. In this situation, you are voluntarily giving your power into the hands of other person. And until that does not happen, you put yourself in a prison and suffer expecting the other person to be affected by it. Very often you might notice wives after a disagreement with their husbands who stop eating meals to make the husband feel bad about what he has done. But this only affects you and nobody else.
It is literally whipping yourself until you bleed and die to hurt someone else. How is that even possible? People are very successful at holding a grudge for years together which in turn affects your own health and wellbeing.
Once you begin consciously making an attempt to forgive and let go you will be saving yourself and helping yourself. Forgiveness is a simple state with not being affected by anything. It surely does not happen so easily. It takes a lot of work. But when you are aware of your actions and patterns of behavior, and consciously decide to help yourself, life by default will seem more happier and larger in all contexts.
The art of forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Forgiveness and forgetting are completely different to each other. One must forgive for ones own good but never forget. Forgiveness does not even mean that you have to understand the reasons for someone else’s ill behavior. It simply means to save yourself.
You will easily be able to distinguish the state or forgiveness when you realize that you no longer feel any emotions or feelings towards that person, situation or circumstances. Forgiveness is an internal effort. It does not involve outwardly telling the person that you forgive them.
Forgive yourself and others because you certainly deserve better!